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Reclaiming Your Self Esteem

Reclaiming your self esteem

Recent research indicates that as many as 85% of the UK population suffer from low self-esteem.

In a 2017 research in the UK by Dove, it was found that 61% of 10-17-year-old girls in the UK have low self-esteem.

75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities like cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or disordered eating. This compares to 25% of girls with high self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which an individual views him/herself as inadequate, unlovable, and/or incompetent and it can affect so many different areas of an individual’s life.

From sports professionals to teenagers, weight issues to addictions, self-esteem can lie beneath many of the issues that I work with as a Hypnotherapist and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher.

We all have times when we lack confidence and do not feel good about ourselves.

But when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.
Self-esteem is an individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth.
Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include self-worth, self-regard, self-respect, and self-integrity.

When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life’s ups and downs.

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light.

We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.

Some of the signs of low self-esteem can be

  • Sensitivity to criticism
  • Social withdrawal
  • Hostility
  • Excessive preoccupation with personal problems

People with low self-esteem may:

  • Experience & talk about feelings of inadequacy
  • Compare themselves negatively to others
  • Stop trying new things
  • Experience physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches and insomnia
  • Consider their opinions and ideas valueless
  • Avoid things they find challenging

Low self-esteem is a self-fulling prophecy.

Mindfulness Meditation and Hypnosis can help people with low self-esteem:

  • Acknowledge their worth
  • Build their inner confidence
  • Repair their self-image
  • Quieten their “inner critic”
  • Tap into the natural confidence they were born with

The techniques and exercises focus on:

  • Identifying negative talk
  • Building connections with loving people
  • Learning to be assertive
  • Setting challenges
  • Focusing on the positives

Mindfulness and Hypnosis are entirely collaborative, and the journey begins with a conversation to establish what you want to achieve. Only when we have decided on the correct course, will the journey begin in earnest.

It will identify those areas and aspects affected most and will improve coping abilities, address past potential causes, and find renewed hope and positivity.

My “Reclaiming Your Self-Esteem” program will enable you to re-focus and tap into your natural confidence – a confidence that you were actually born with!

Whether our sessions are face-to-face in person or online, the program can help you.

For more information or to book an appointment: Email me at

Call me on 07446 005472

How Fear Keeps You Smoking & How You Can Change It

If you are a smoker and worried about the risks around COVID-19 then now would be a good time to think about quitting for good.

It is a harsh reality that if you are a smoker you are more likely to get acute respiratory infections and have a higher risk of those infections becoming severe.

There has never been a better time to stop smoking.

But quitting is hard for many, and perhaps particularly so at a time of great stress and when many of our routines have been so suddenly disrupted

Perhaps, like the majority of smokers, the mere thought of stopping fills you with panic

If you smoke, the mere thought of giving up can fill you with PANIC…?

Is this YOU?

You have every intention of quitting one day – just not today…

Is this YOU?

Don’t worry, you are not alone.

Most smokers continue to smoke for one reason…



Fear – that you will have to undergo an unknown period of time suffering feelings of deprivation.

Fear – that social occasions will not be quite as enjoyable without a cigarette.

Fear – that you cannot concentrate or be as confident without that crutch..

Fear that your identity, your personality or your character will change.

Fear – that you will lose the “helpful friend” that helps you cope with stress.

And that quitting may cause you to gain a few pounds.

And here’s the news…

That fear of giving up is actually CREATED by cigarettes.

You never decided to fall into the nicotine trap!

But nicotine is designed to ensure that you remain there, and you need to be motivated to break free.

And, you can take some small steps towards a nicotine-free life.

A rehearsal for the time when you can give up smoking for good!

So, follow the steps below to start your journey to becoming a NON-SMOKER!

  1. Make a list of the reasons to quit:
  • There are probably a number of them – but have you ever actually written them as a list?
  1. Set a quit date:
  • And stick to it!
  1. Change your brand:
  • ONE week before your quit date – change your brand of cigarette. You will find they are not as enjoyable.
  1. Try to change the hand you use to hold your cigarette:
  • It will feel awkward – but this small change breaks down habits and associations:
  1. Change your routine
  • If you normally smoke after a meal, try to break out of this routine. Try reading a chapter of a book, watch a TV show, or retreat to a part of the house where you would not normally smoke.
  1. Get active:
  • A five-minute walk or stretch produces chemicals in the brain that reduce cravings.
  • Make regular affirmations to yourself several times a day –

“I am enjoying life as a non-smoker”

Hypnotherapy can help you to have your last cigarette ever!

It will show you the reasons to stop and can help you:

  • With motivation to stop smoking – and stay stopped.
  • Break the connections – the triggers – to smoking.
  • Feel positive about becoming a non-smoker.

So, if you haven’t been able to quit smoking before, that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do it now!

And if you COULD stop smoking easily and without cravings why wouldn’t you want to break out of that habit into a fresher, cleaner, healthier YOU?


 Download Decision to Change mp3

Watch the Do You Smoke video now.


Virtual Holidays

Helping You Beat the Holiday Blues

As the UK’s Covid19 lockdown continues and the government warns Britons against making holiday plans just yet, many people may find their state of mind slipping downwards without their annual summer trip to look forward to.

So, in response, I’m going to help you to travel to their favourite destinations – from the comfort of their own armchair!

Amid the despair and grief of this pandemic, it might seem silly to focus on holidays, but they undoubtedly play a huge part in our mental health and wellbeing.

From the excitement of choosing a destination and accommodation, researching everything from sights to restaurants, to the actual week or fortnight itself followed by the recollection of treasured memories, holidays really do matter.

It’s about ‘life experiences’, relaxation, and most importantly, escapism from everyday life.

The coping process of escapism is common to many people in difficult times, and by wanting to still book a holiday, we are actively engaging in escapism behaviour.

Escape is key in our mental self-care, and it can be good to seek a happy escape when things seem impossible – that feeling of ‘I just need to get away’.

And of course, many forms of our regular escapisms, such as going out to the gym, bars and restaurants, have been taken away from us, increasing our desire to plan ahead for getaways once lockdown is lifted.

I’ve now created five free downloads to enable people to spirit their minds away to an amazing holiday destination and in doing so, take back a little of the relaxation and release they would have enjoyed had they actually been away.

At a time when we cannot guarantee a lengthier reprieve, something as simple as taking a ‘virtual holiday’ can offer a brief moment of escapism.

This allows you an outlet for the stress we are facing, and the energy to re-engage with life in lockdown.

My free downloads are a form of self-hypnosis, and simply require you to sit down in a quiet and comfortable spot, close your eyes, listen to my words, visualise the holiday destination, and relax. I’ve chosen five types of holiday for the recordings:

·        A Maldives Beach

·        The Mountains

·        Safari

·        American Road Trip

·        Disney Land

These reflect predictions made by Solihull-based independent travel agency Andara Travel, which specialises in organising tailor-made trips for people around the world.

Sandra Mutter, Managing Director of Andara Travel, believes there will be a number of key things holidaymakers will look for once the travel industry reopens for business.

She said: “We’re expecting people will be seeking plenty of space and fresh air after being cooped up for so long – destinations such as New Zealand, Canada and America will be popular, especially for self-drive trips.

Also, many people will feel like doing something completely different as an antidote to months of boredom, so an adventurous African safari might well appeal.

“Conversely, some families might want privacy to reconnect with each other after enduring being forced apart for such a long time.

I think we will see idyllic islands like those in the Caribbean proving popular for multigenerational groups involving grandparents, parents and children all enjoying some quality time together, whereas couples might favour treating themselves to some luxury in the Maldives.”

She added: “We understand how essential it is for many people to have something to look forward to once we emerge on the other side of this terrible pandemic, and a holiday away from their lockdown base will be a real tonic.

“I think Mike’s offer to help people take a short break, in spirit if not in body, is a lovely idea, and hope it helps people stay positive in these difficult times.”

So, go ahead, try my downloads for yourself right now.

I hope you enjoy them, and I hope that they allow you some respite from the situation we are all in.

And please let me know what you think.  Thank you.

Mike Holland

May 2020

MP3 Downloads

·        A Maldives Beach

·        The Mountains

·        Safari

·        American Road Trip

·        Disney Land


Fixing Sleep Issues with the Power of Hypnosis

Fixing sleep issues

The current pandemic has certainly changed the way we live our everyday lives.

It has affected many of our daily routines, and one of its biggest reported impacts has been that on sleep – sleep becomes more elusive when we are anxious.

Many people are suffering from sleep issues for the first time in their lives:

  • Lying awake for long periods.
  • Being unable to fall asleep at all.
  • Waking several times during the night & finding it difficult to get back to sleep.
  • More intense and emotional dreams.
  • Feeling tired and groggy the next morning.
  • Finding it difficult to concentrate or function properly
  • Feeling irritable.

But good sleep stratagems will help you sleep well and can limit the negative effects of poor sleep.

Try these FIVE hints for calmer and better sleep.

1.     Limit news intake and avoid your mobiles and tablets for at least an hour before bed.

Do something to boost your mood before bed – a humorous television programme or an uplifting podcast can help you sleep.

2.     Have structure to your day.

Our brains and bodies love structure. Wake, exercise, eat and sleep at similar times each day.

3.     Focus on your breathing.

Think about resting rather than sleeping. Follow your breathing by silently whispering the words ‘in’ and ‘out’ to induce sleep.

4.     Learn to relax

Relaxation can switch off the stress response, physically and mentally. Find something that works for you – mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing or a long hot bath.

5.     If you can’t sleep – get out of bed.

Your bed should not be a battleground. Instead, try to enjoy the sensation of merely resting.

Hypnosis can help many forms of sleep issues and insomnia.

If you are not sleeping well, and traditional treatments are not working, hypnosis may be able to help you sleep the way you deserve.

It uses different approaches to induce relaxation, such as focused attention, symptom control and guided imagery.

And, unlike sleep medications, it has no side effects, so it can be an aid for those who can’t or don’t want to take sleeping pills.

It can help overcome bedtime restlessness – ease the worry, tension and anxiety that prevent sleep – and can show the way to the deep, restorative sleep that we all need.

To get started, download this complimentary hypnosis recording.

And take the first steps on the road to better sleep!

And for further information on how Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy could help you, contact Mike on: / or call 07446 005472

Click here to listen to the free download

How to Keep Your Relationships Healthy

The coronavirus outbreak is leading to big changes in the way we live our everyday lives.

Our relationships are hugely important to us just at a time when they are being placed under the most intense pressure.

Relationships are not built on the expectation that you’ll be spending all day, every day with that person.

If you are both working from home, with nowhere to go in the evenings, there is a chance you may experience some friction.

Perhaps it’s happening already?

This is perfectly normal, particularly given the increased stress we are all under right now.

But, as we could be in this predicament for a while yet, it is worth taking some steps to ensure we get through this period with our relationships intact.

We may even come out the other side stronger!

Give these strategies a go:

1.     Create the love with your differences

Write a list of the positive differences between you. This can help you begin to appreciate each other once again.

2.     No criticisms/No put downs

When niggles arise between you, or one is criticising the other, say something silly. Your partner will be so taken aback, it will throw them, and may even make them laugh. But, most importantly, it will interrupt and break any tension.

3. Cuddle Time

Find time in the day, just for this, with no further expectation.

4.   Allow the Dreams 

Encourage your partner to fulfil their dreams and ask them to allow you to achieve yours, too. When you both feel free, you will both be happy.

5.  Discuss Rather Than Argue  

Turn irritating comments into humour – see the situation as a cartoon so that you can laugh at it.

6. Learn to Listen

Make a conscious effort to really listen to what your partner has to say and acknowledge that you have heard them.

7. Love What Is Actually Real

Don’t set up your partner to fail by having expectations of them which are too high.

How Hypnotherapy for Relationships Works

Hypnosis can be used to change thinking patterns, behaviours, and outcomes. Relationship hypnosis deals with the relationship you have with your partner.

Relationship hypnosis can help you:

•        Deal with negative emotions.
•        Have much improved communications with the people around you.
•        Recapture those feelings of love and romance.
•        Build stronger relationships towards a brighter future.

You too can shift the dynamics of your relationship right now.

To help you further, download this complimentary hypnosis recording.

And for further information on how Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy could help you, contact Mike on /

07446 005472

Enjoy a better relationship!

Click here to listen to the free download

Healthier relationships


How Mike from Mind Being You & Hypnotherapy can help you to deal with Coronavirus uncertainties

As the Coronavirus continues to spread across the globe, and daily stress and anxiety levels rise to new heights, I’m reaching out to you to offer a free download on my website which has been written specifically to help people deal with the daily uncertainties they are facing about the virus.

Studies have shown that facing uncertainty is often scarier than facing physical pain.
The human brain over millennia has developed an aversion to uncertainty. It is a carry-over from our inherent “fight-or-flight” reaction to threat. In our constant quest for certainty in our lives, we are wired to “catastrophise” – to view a given situation as worse than it actually is.

And this leads to worry, which in turn leads to anxiety.
For many of us who have never experienced events that have an enormous impact on everyday lives, these are unprecedented times.
Some people may already suffer with low-level anxiety and have found their symptoms have ramped up recently; others might be feeling new physical and psychological strains for the first time.

The lack of answers to questions raised by the current uncertainty – “What will happen?”, “What is in the future for us?”, “What if my livelihood is threatened?” – can lead to frustration, anger and aggression.
And awareness is the key. It is our superpower.

Feelings of uncertainty can be mitigated by the following:
• Be conscious of the “worry story” you tell yourself – and try to distance yourself from it.
• Focus on your breathing – take long, slow breaths.
• Recognise the need to rise above “fight-or-flight”.
• Accept the uncertainty – and allow yourself to stop the struggle against it.

I’ve spent years helping people to cope with and reduce their anxiety.
The techniques I teach my clients, whatever the trigger for their condition, can also be applied successfully in this current pandemic. I’d encourage anyone who is feeling stressed or anxious, whether they are directly affected by Coronavirus or are just generally worried about it, to download my session and see if it helps.”

The 18-minute English-language audio recording can be accessed from any computer or device, and simply requires the listener to be settled in a safe, quiet space, where they can fully engage with the words I’m speaking. Even just taking 15-20 minutes out of your day to focus on yourself, rather than the latest virus news update, can help you regain a sense of balance and focus. It’s all about relaxing your mind, deflecting the negative thoughts, and replacing them with calm, positive ones.

I would advise you to schedule a ‘worry window’, so you can better manage any negative thoughts and feelings by containing them in a predetermined time slot, and free up the rest of your day by banishing intrusive thoughts.

To some degree it’s natural to worry, and we all do it – it’s how our brain handles problems or potential problems.

But it stops being useful if we become stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts about things that are out of our control.
We should instead focus on those things within our control, and how we choose to respond to them.”

One such way people have been trying to exercise control and diminish their worries is by the unhelpful practice of ‘panic-buying’ goods, such as hand sanitiser and toilet roll.
One of the drivers of this behaviour is down to an overload of the ‘fight-or-flight’ response that’s hardwired into our DNA and is being further fuelled by images of empty shelves in the media, and on social media.

It’s an exaggeration of a natural reaction – we think we’re fighting for our survival. Suddenly, certain items take on much greater significance than usual and just possessing them seems to calm our fears, that is until the next bout of fear takes hold about a different ‘essential’ item.

This pandemic has many repercussions beyond the actual virus. One is the potential impact on mental health and wellbeing as people try to manage an increasingly stressful situation.

And if Mike can help ease that stress in just a small way, he believes it’s worthwhile trying.

Click here to listen to the free download

Mike Holland is a professional, fully qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the National Council for Hypnotherapy (NCH) and the General Hypnotherapy Register (GHR).
He is also a fully qualified & registered Mindfulness Teacher and teaches Mindfulness Meditation in 1-1 and group sessions and during the current coronavirus crisis, is providing all of his services online through Zoom and Skype sessions, so all people need is a decent internet connection and a device such as a smartphone, laptop iPad to access them.

He is currently supporting the NHS frontline staff by acting as a Check in & Chat volunteer and is on duty every day to talk to people suffering from the stresses and anxiety that isolation can bring.

Through his work, Mike has helped to improve the lives of hundreds and hundreds of people and is ready to help you to beat the uncertainty that this situation is causing many people.

For more information on this and the other services Mike offers, please contact him on or text/call him on 07446 005472.